Where ever I go, when I speak to pastors about their churches, I always ask them if they have a youth group for college age kids. Surprisingly almost none of them do! Wow that is a shock. At no other time in life are they more at risk and less under the influence of positive forces.

  Almost every church has a youth group of some kind. Most separate them by grade, having the junior high age kids in one group and the high school kids in the other. These groups create a great bond of friendship both at church and back in the real world, school. These friends offer a built in support group to help you deal with peer pressure and other coming of age issues. Teens in youth groups are less likely to use drugs or alcohol, or have premarital sex. They have a built in set of ‘good’ friends which are a good influence on them. This group of friends is a safe zone to keep them away from falling in with the wrong crowd.

  So now that you’ve lived a nice safe, protected life in junior high and high school, and you’ve graduated with honors, now what? What do you do now? Off to college you go. Off to that place of higher education. And I do mean higher. Off to that place where they teach you not to take classes before noon because your hang over will hurt too much in the morning. Off to that place where they teach you, God is a myth and we evolved from random chemical reactions. Off to the place where all the girls get the freshmen fifteen, fifteen pounds of extra weight to carry around with them, all alcohol. Off to the place where more people loose their virginity than in marriage. Off to the land of Animal House, with endless drug and alcohol parties on a daily basis. Off to the land where there are virtually no rules and you are on your own to decide right from wrong.

  So where is your support group, your group of built in friends from the youth group? They are not there for you because there is no youth group for college kids. After graduation you were kicked out of the youth group and told that you were too old to associate with them now, even though they were your best friends. Then they tossed you into the old ladies group, like a college freshmen has anything in common with a bunch of old grannies.

  Now what? The people in your church group can’t relate to your problems. There is too big of a generation gap. There might be a singles group but you’re not single. You have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but your not allowed to hang around with them at church because they are still in the youth group and now you’re not. Funny how last spring it was cute when you held her hand, but now you get treated like a dirty old man for talking to her. It’s no wonder you quit going to church. There was no fellowship there for you. Not to mention that the Holy Spirit was bored at that church and was taking a nap on the back pew next to you.

  As I discussed this with the pastor of a newly formed church he quickly tried to remedy this problem by announcing that they had just started a singles group for people from eighteen to twenty eight. That was a noble try but it still missed the mark. In fact it missed both marks. Who is to say that people in their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties and older are not fit to be in a singles group. What, if you are an old maid of twenty nine you’re not welcome? If you are divorced and lonely you’re not welcome? If it has taken you more than twenty eight years to find your soul mate you’re not welcome?

  And who says that just because you are in college that you want to be in a singles group? You might already be in a relationship or you might not be interested in being in a group where the main focus is dating.

  Every church needs to have a college youth group to be a positive influence for it’s college age youth. Every church also needs to have a singles group for all ages. Please don’t try to mix or join the two groups. Many people might be members of both groups but each group serves a distinctly different function. The youth group serves as a place where people of similar age can get together for fun and fellowship free of any kind of sexual overtones often associated with the whole dating game, even at the most honorable, biblical level. Some people will still be uncomfortable with it and the youth group needs to be a safe shelter from it.

  On the other hand, the singles group should be all about sex, what the bible teaches about it, and what the bible teaches about dating and relationships. The focus of the group is not to separate people by age. It is not an age based group. It’s a group of lonely people who need God’s help in finding them a mate. Age is not the issue,  being alone is. You can’t group people into this group just based on their age as some kind of substitute for a college group. Nothing kills a single group like a happy couple, making everyone feel twice as lonely.

  So everyone, please tell your pastor that you need a singles group for all ages so people can find their soul mate at church instead of at a nightclub, and you need a college age youth group so you don’t lose vulnerable young souls.